I deleted my blog...

I gave up on blogging for a while. I was deterred when someone said to me once, "What are you going to go home and blog about this?". I felt defeated. Blogging was my form of expression, a mental detox. In the last week, I have had 3 people tell me, I enjoy reading your blog, I could really use a Mary Blog post, and Thank you for being so honest and open. 

It's incredible how impactful words can be. Comments can inspire or crush you. You can choose to take the positive comments or you can choose to dwell on the negative. For some reason, I always gravitate toward the negative. I overthink A LOT. A comment made in passing or as a joke can keep me up all night trying to figure out what I did to cause that reaction. Something completely out of my control and I stress over it. 

To make this even more comical I have a tattoo that says "I'm not everyone's cup of tea". I understand completely that not everyone in the world is going to like me. I gave this same advice to my stepdaughter the other day. You can concentrate on all the people that don't like you or you can give all your energy to your supporters. As I type this I laugh and think, well Mary you could do the same. 

I never want or wanted to be labeled as a negative person. It is actually one of the labels that hit me at my core. My mom always told me I was her happiest kid and to never lose that sense of energy. I am here to create a safe space in which people can talk to me, and feel as if they won't be judged. 

Today I got a great compliment. One of my direct reports got engaged. He questioned when he should ask her and asked me for advice. I said you already know what you want, why wait? He told me this morning that he told his fiance that I played a part in him popping the question, obviously, she stated that I was a smart lady. But it's days like today where you know you make a difference. Where a positive attitude can play a huge role in someone's life. 

I have been on a new initiative to run every day. I can't go very fast and I'm not going to lie when I started I couldn't even run a mile. Now I am up to 2. This slow but steady progress has reminded me that there isn't instant gratification. There are tons of miserable days inside those 12 days of running. But when you are running the only negative comments you are trying to escape is your own. No outside impact. 

I guess today all I am saying is, to spend more time being kind. Spend more time adding positivity to those around you. Spend less time on the people that don't like you. Spend less energy on negative comments. 

And.. you aren't everyone's cup of tea. That is quite alright with me.