These days before the holiday always have me reflecting a bit.
2024 Oh where did you go? So much has changed this year as we sold a house, bought a home, got a new job, traveled internationally, and did our yearly national park trip. We grew our own vegetables, planted flowers, raised 8 chickens (kept 5 alive from the coyotes), and have farm-fresh eggs. We started making sourdough, renovated the downstairs bathroom, and many other projects around the house. We added a new driver to the family, a new high school graduate, and attended a wedding in June where we added another Miller to the family.
Overall lots of good obviously I won't list the bad. This time is a time for reflection not a time to add to seasonal depression.
Main points I learned this year:
- The consumerism chokehold that social media has on us! I started tracking my spending in a spreadsheet and realized I could simmer down on Amazon and Instagram influencers.
- Help others when you can, everything is expensive. Gifts of cash, groceries, and home-cooked meals/treats make such a difference.
- Eat food, real food. You can't say it is more expensive to eat healthy but a bag of Doritos is $7, and a meal at McDonalds is over $15. An Aldi's produce trip is usually $30-40.
- I need a hobby desperately. I like to read but that comes and goes in waves. I have to get away from phone/computer screens after work.
- Stress is a part of life, stressful situations continue to happen. You continue to grieve and you continue to live. You can't dwell on all the bad things even if it feels like you are drowning. I have made significant progress in this category. I used to be the worst person to have around in a highly tense situation. On Friday Josh woke me up at 2am to drive to the ER because he thought he was having a heart attack. I could of cried or panicked but that just wasn't going to get the job done. When someone we love is going through a stressful situation remaining calm and supportive is the best way you can act. If I started panicking or stressing out that would have made the situation so much worse.
- Advice, when people ask for it make sure they genuinely care about what you are going to say. I will never question someone's choices in life as it's their life. The problem is people get stuck in life, and to get yourself out of a cycle, a change/decision/action needs to happen. Ask for advice, don't ask for advice, but get yourself out of the rut. Life is too short!
The main learning point:
- At the end of the day there is always someone who is going through something so much worse than you. No, I don't say that as a competition. I say this because do we really want the bad events that happen to us to define who we are as people? How about the way we processed the bad events and came out the other side? I don't want to be known as the daughter whose father doesn't quite remember her anymore or the wife of a man who has to get a colonoscopy every year to check for a possibility of repeat cancer. I want to be known as a person who's willing to help others even though I might need to help myself. I don't want people's pity, I want their friendship. I want to surround myself with people who will make me laugh. I could sit here and say "why me?" or "why can't I just have a normal life" or "This isn't fair". But what's the point?
In 2025, let us not define ourselves with the bad events that have happened to us. Of course, they are a part of who we are, but they are not the only part. We are so much more than our grieving or our bad news. We are writers, singers, poets, dancers, crafters, mechanics, painters, lovers, athletes, readers, fishermen, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, aunts, uncles..... the list goes on.
So 2025, My name is Mary Miller, I'm not going to let the bad events in these next 12 months define me, they will just add to my character.
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